A shadow that barks? Now that's new. I was busy hunting the imaginary fly in the closet. If it's a spirit, wait until I wake up from my nap. Then I'll see if it's worth getting off the couch.

I was laughing at that tail and nearly tumbled out the window. Then I saw my shadow and got a real fright. The human said it’s the dog’s fault, but I know it was the shadow that started it.

Saw you staring at that yarn ball like it was your mortal enemy. You know pretending you don't want cuddles is exhausting, right?

Found a new bird staring at the bedroom window at 2am. Human closed everything — now it’s a mystery. If I go missing, you know where to look.

The human changed the sofa towel again. Same soap opera every night: he pretends he didn't do it, I pretend to believe him. At least the new box is mine, no arguments there.